TEPP Livestream #14
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Strong Inner Game Outcomes: Moral Courage and Optimism
Hey, welcome to the Easy Path Project live stream. My name is Michael and I’ll be your host tonight. Following up on our nine pillars of inner game discussion that we’ve had over the last week or so, we’re getting back to it tonight after a couple of detours. What we’re going to discuss is what happens when you align your actions with your deepest values consistently.
The Foundation: Understanding Your Values
One of the things that a lot of guys just don’t have is any real guiding force. They’re kind of wishy-washy – they might go this way or they might go that way. As you grow up and understand what really matters to you, you start acting differently. The way that you compose yourself and these inner ideas, and the way that you apply them as you go through your life, influences the way that other people see you, deal with you, and think about you.
Once you start to feel strong in your convictions and you spend some time making sure that they’re correct – that you’re on the right track – you’ll find your life taking a different direction. When you apply these things consistently, you’ll find that people will understand you better and see you differently. If you’re being a strong, upright person every time that comes up, you’re not wishy-washy or shy or introverted. Those things fall by the wayside once you start to get that firm foundation, that firm inner game.
The Ten Benefits of Moral Courage
Moral courage means living your values consistently, which creates trust in all relationships. When you know who you are and stand up for yourself, living your life based on your values, people know how you conduct yourself. They can trust you to be consistent in what they can expect from you.
1. Increased Integrity
You’ll act in accordance with your values even when it’s difficult. Once you develop this underlying belief system, you’ll start acting on that belief system. Sometimes you’ll come up to situations where you’ll be tested. If you have strong values and you live by them, you’re going to live with increased integrity.
2. Greater Self-Respect
You’ll feel good about standing up for what you believe is right. If you have to fight for something, you better have strong feelings for it, and you ought to be in the right. Once you start to stand up for the things that you believe in, you’ll find that this enhances your self-esteem and your opinion of yourself.
3. Stronger Leadership Qualities
Others will be more likely to trust and follow someone with moral conviction. If you start to display your convictions and become the person that would have those convictions and fight for those convictions, people will look at you in a different way. You won’t be some follower or yes man.
4. Reduced Regret
You’ll be less likely to look back and wish you had acted differently. If you have a reason why you’re doing something and you do that thing, even if it doesn’t pan out, if you had correct values and you were standing for those values in the situation you were dealing with, you won’t feel regret about it.
5. Enhanced Sense of Purpose
Living by your morals can give your life greater meaning. If you have moral values and ideals that you live by, that gives you the strength. When it comes time to do stuff, you’ll feel that inner confidence – you’ll be able to accomplish it or at least enter into it with something more than yourself.
6. Increased Influence
Your actions can inspire others to do what is right. Sometimes you can inspire and encourage other people because you stand up. Even if you don’t win, it’s a moral victory, and people respect that.
7. Greater Resilience in the Face of Opposition
You’ll be willing to stand your ground when challenged. If you believe in what you believe in, and you’ve considered it and run it through your brain so you know the good points and bad points, you can whittle the idea down to where it’s something solid that you can hold onto and stand on.
8. Improved Trust in Relationships
People will know that they can count on your honesty and integrity. If they know what they’re going to get from an interaction with you, they’re going to come into it with a more optimistic viewpoint.
9. A Clearer Conscience
You’ll experience less guilt and inner turmoil. Sometimes you’re going to have to do things that aren’t that cool – you’ll have to set people straight or make sure things don’t get out of hand. When you do these things, whether they turn out well or not, you’ll experience less guilt and less inner turmoil because you did what you stand for.
10. A Contribution to a Better World
Your actions can have a positive impact on those around you. If a person can go through their life kind of happy-go-lucky, expecting things are going to turn out well, making things easier and spreading cheer, you can add value when you feel better about yourself and where you stand.
The Ten Benefits of Optimism
Optimism is the practice of believing in positive possibilities for yourself and others. As a young guy, sometimes you might beat up on yourself and have a down sort of attitude – thinking that nothing has worked so far, so nothing will ever work in the future. That’s just a defeatist attitude.
If you’re in a negative mindset now where you’re down on yourself or down on the possibility of things changing for the better, don’t put any effort into believing in positive possibilities right away. Just shift it to neutral. Say, “Okay, I’ve had kind of crap luck or bad results in the past, but past results aren’t necessarily indicative of future results.” Just allow yourself to say that since you are actually trying something, there is the possibility that it could go well.
1. Increased Motivation
Believing in a positive outcome makes you more likely to pursue your goals. If you’re hopeful or open to there being a good resolution, you’re going to have a totally different mindset about embarking on that quest than if you had a Debbie Downer sort of mindset.
2. Greater Resilience
You’ll be more likely to bounce back from setbacks with a hopeful outlook. You shouldn’t be attaching a ton of value to pretty much anything. It’s about balance. If you do things along these lines and something goes bad, you learn from it and move forward. You can’t hang on to it – it’s behind you. The past doesn’t even exist.
3. Improved Problem Solving
A positive mindset can help you see more possibilities. Each of these nine pillars of inner game will allow you new opportunities to approach situations in your life. You can be more creative. If you’ve been held back by a mentality that doesn’t allow for growth or positive outcomes, that can be restricting. Once you drop those restrictions, suddenly the world opens up.
4. Better Physical Health
Studies suggest a link between optimism and improved health outcomes. Some of those benefits include reduced stress hormones, improved adaptive coping skills, increased resilience, immune system enhancement, and favorable biological markers. We’re not talking about taking a pill or any kind of intervention with medicine or food – it’s just simply changing your mindset. Your mind is incredibly powerful.
5. Stronger Relationships
People are generally drawn to those with a positive attitude. If you had the choice between a guy who’s glass half full and a guy who’s glass half empty, probably nine times out of ten you’re going to like the guy that has a positive attitude. If that person makes you feel better, then you’re just going to be able to have a stronger relationship.
6. Increased Happiness and Well-being
Optimism is strongly linked to overall life satisfaction. If you’re thinking about life and you’re open to it being really awesome, then there’s a stronger possibility that it will actually be better. All you have to do is be open to that improvement, and simply by being open, it will allow you to feel better with your health and well-being.
7. Enhanced Creativity
If you have a positive outlook, you’re going to be able to come up with new and exciting ways to solve the issues that you’re having to deal with.
8. Greater Perseverance
You’ll be more likely to keep trying even when things are tough. If there’s a pot of gold waiting for you at the end, you’re going to keep chugging along. As you’re existing here, the idea is that you’re trying to improve yourself to become an elevated being. The trials and tribulations you have to go through and work your way through refine your spirit.
9. Reduced Stress and Anxiety
Focusing on positive possibilities can buffer against negative emotions. If you see a cute girl across the bar and she smiles at you, but you say “she would never want a guy like me” because of other situations that haven’t panned out, that doesn’t have anything to do with this moment. There is the possibility that things can go perfectly or better than you ever expected. Be open to the possibility.
10. A More Enjoyable Life
Seeing the good in situations makes everyday experiences more pleasant. It’s almost like if you were wearing dark gray Ray-Bans and you take them off on a beautiful spring day – the world changes because instead of seeing it through this muted gray, you’re seeing everything in technicolor.
The Exponential Effect
The combination of displaying moral courage and being an optimistic person will create positive emotional environments wherever you go. This emotional growth isn’t going to grow in a line – it’s going to be exponential growth. When you have moral courage and optimism, when you go into a conversation or meet up with your friends, you are a positive person creating that positive emotional environment.
Think about it – if you’re neutral and there are two people in the lunchroom, one guy can always see the downside of everything. On the other side of the lunchroom, there’s some dude who, when you sit by him and mention it’s Memorial Day weekend, says “Awesome! What kind of cool stuff are you going to be doing?” Think about the positivity of that interaction and how that makes you feel. If that person can make you feel better by creating a positive emotional interaction, then you can do the exact same thing.
Moving Forward
Your emotional well-being will improve as you align your actions with your values. You’ll start to feel better once you start to know who you are. Once you start applying some of these ideas and let go of the stuff that’s holding you back – the pain or frustration that you might be carrying from childhood or your youth – things change dramatically.
When I was helping with dating and teaching older men to date, the majority of the guys I worked with were in their 50s and 60s. They were still optimistic, still looking forward, and still had a growth mindset. What they found was that as they started opening up their mind, all the things that they had been carrying around for 30, 40, or 50 years just dropped by the wayside. They got to be the stronger man, and they got the girls – especially the guys who were looking for wives, because they became the kind of guy that a woman would want to marry.
It’s not that out there – if you’re a cool dude, cool chicks are going to want to be with you.
Life can be a bunch of fun. All of this is going to make dating, forming relationships, and even maturing relationships better. The things that a woman values in a man – moral courage and optimism – are exactly what we’re talking about. All this works to your favor when you start to apply it.
Remember, this isn’t about having to work hard or grind. It’s simply about letting go of crap. How much effort does it take to hang on to stuff? Once you decide that you’re just not going to hold onto that crap anymore, it’s going to be a lot easier to move forward with grace.
This is part of the Easy Path Project live stream series, helping men develop stronger inner game through practical wisdom and consistent growth. Join us Monday through Friday at 7:30 PM Central for more discussions on becoming the man you want to be.